Saturday, February 18, 2012

FEBRUARY 12, 2012---The Phlebotomist Always Says You'll Feel A Pinch Before They Stick You....

BUT when you are sticking yourself, you just have to do it.  Or at least with me, you just have your grandma do it.

Today is Sunday, and tomorrow I have to start follistim injections--- one a day, in the morning for five days... it is a "Follistim" pin, in which you put a vile of Follicle Stimulating Hormone and dial it to your proper dosage, sterile your "area", pinch your stomach with one hand, and inject the pin needle with the other.... push the button till it dials down to zero to let you know you have received a full dosage, and hold it in for five more seconds... then pull out.  I know I can do this, BUUUUUUUUT maybe not the first time.  Afraid I will jump and drop the pin while it is in me and mess it all up.  CALL GRANDMA!  She gave my cousin insulin injections, and sure enough!  She said she would, so tomorrow I go over there and she will stab me with a sharp object, with pleasure, lol.  This will help my follicles grow...

Many women really don't know much about what a cycle is really like from the "inside-out" so I will tell you now that I have had the opportunity and under necessity, become so informed----your follicles have to grow to 18-20 mm at least to pop and release an egg... ovulation!   Your cycle is like this for example--- Day 1 is the first day of your period.... the last day of your cycle is the day before your next period.. so if your cycle is 28 days long, you will probably ovulate around the 14th... how does it work?  On day one you start your period, and after a certain amount of days, stimulated by gradually increasing amounts of estrogen, the blood slows to a stop and the lining of the uterus thickens.  Follicles in the ovary begin developing under the influence of complex interplay of hormones, and after several days one or occasionally two become dominant and grows the most while the others chill out... once it or they (yikes, twin potential!!!) reach 18 to 20 mm, approximately around the middle of your cycle (my cycle was getting to be 40-some days long, so around day 20 or so), your body surges the Luteinizing hormone and the follicle BuRsTS, releases an egg(s) in what is called ovulation.  This egg will live for only up to 24 hours without fertilization, while the remains of the follicle (which actually the remnants of the popped cyst or follicle turns into a corpus luteum; this little entity is going to release large amts of progesterone) Progesterone... this causes change in the lining of the uterus to prepare for implantation to establish "pregnancy" (which once an egg is fertilized within 24 hours of ovulation, it can take up to two weeks to implant and the whole time your lining is getting ready for it with the huge amts of Progesterone being released by the corpus luteum aka, follicle the egg dropped out of, lol ... the egg is producing estradial or E2 or estrogen).... if implantation does not occur within those two weeks, Progesterone and Estrogen levels plummet and this causes the shedding of the uterine lining which is usually all that is your period... and the egg was so small it could only be seen under a microscope and like your body absorbs cells from an infection, most of the time you don't "waste" your egg in the mensa, your abdominal cavity absorbs it!  And since it was sooooo microscopic, it didn't have to work hard at all to do it.  Voila!  Cycle explained. You are welcome.

ANYWAY... on all my other documented cycles  (as you read earlier, remember, your follies (follicles) have to grow to 18-20mm to pop=ovulate) I only was known to even have ONE folly grow to 15!  15?  Man, I wasn't responding at all to this Clomiphene (Clomid)... bummer.

This is why they switched me to Femara.... they don't use it first because it can cause over stimulation of the ovaries.... they weren't afraid of that with me because even my dominant folly(ies) weren't growing to ovulation potential  : (  After you take Femara for 5 days just like Clomid, you then have to do injections to stimulate your ovaries as well to grow follies to ovulation-able size.  I start that tomorrow... I just believe this is it.

I was so heartbroken last month when I did my round of Clomid and come day 19, they weren't getting to proper size and they decided I had not responded to the med and canceled my cycle altogether.... but thanks be to my Father who IS in Heaven, I always gain renewed hope.  So here I am again... after six months of seeing a Fertility specialist, excited and faithful that THIS is my month.  I know it sounds weird, after so many months (over a year of trying for a baby and only one miscarriage) but I really do believe this is the month.  Of course I say that every month.  I am nothing if not determined HA ha!  It is a strength in this case, because you have to keep your head up and find the faith to believe it will be.  God said to be fruitful and multiply.  I believe He also meant me.  So I will continue, and when He allows it... (this month!!!!!) I will conceive my heart's desire.  We already have our names.... boy and girl names.  Not telling yet ;)

Enough for today.  Going to Grandma's in the morning early!

Keep you "in the know"- Kindra

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