Saturday, January 14, 2012

Jason's 29

So my handsome husband's birthday is today.  I am aaaaaaaaall excited.  I have made a vanilla cake (two layers with chocolate in the middle, cream cheese frosting and a math problem decorated on top that equals his age.  HOw cool!?!  I cannot wait to share his day with many loved ones.  NOW to ClEaN House!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Parker Would be Two

Today is his birthday... Course two years ago I still had six hours and five minutes to go till he arrived.  I am sad today, but I know my sister Rachel is right.  Our loved ones would want us to live.  So I have painted all day long.  I have done nothing else but paint and visit with friends.  Tomorrow is Jason's birthday.

Thursday, January 12, 2012


Parker would be turning 2 tomorrow. My sweet baby. How I still see you and your big bright blues. I wonder what you are doing up there? I miss you down here. How strange that amidst the snow, just now I look up and through my porch window I see a bright red cardinal (my mother's fave bird) seriously as I am typing, and now flown away. It is a reminder to me of something good. I don't know what it is, but tears come now along with a soft smile spreading because there seems to be something wonderful that I don't yet know. I don't know what I believe about people passed getting to check in or watch us, but I do know, I feel her, and at times like these when it happens at this exact moment, when I need it too, I almost think she is. Letting me know they've got him. Happy birthday my sweet MonkeyBear.

Aunt Mary Going Home

My mom's husband Jim has a sister named Mary.  I haven't really gotten to see much of her since her son died and she moved.  It has me reflecting on Mom's death as I know what surely her close family feels at this time.  I pray for peace and comfort.  I pray for her to have no pain.  I hope that this transition to Heaven come swiftly for her.  I thank God that we who believe do not die.  Our bodies do, but our Spirits go home.  Here was only temporary.  It is the only home I have come to know, but deep inside, that God-shaped-hole reminds me there is somewhere different.  Better.  No more loss.  All that seemed lost here, my loved ones, will be waiting for me there.... in my Savior's arms I shall weep no more, for I will have all I need.