Saturday, January 14, 2012
So my handsome husband's birthday is today. I am aaaaaaaaall excited. I have made a vanilla cake (two layers with chocolate in the middle, cream cheese frosting and a math problem decorated on top that equals his age. HOw cool!?! I cannot wait to share his day with many loved ones. NOW to ClEaN House!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Today is his birthday... Course two years ago I still had six hours and five minutes to go till he arrived. I am sad today, but I know my sister Rachel is right. Our loved ones would want us to live. So I have painted all day long. I have done nothing else but paint and visit with friends. Tomorrow is Jason's birthday.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Parker would be turning 2 tomorrow. My sweet baby. How I still see you and your big bright blues. I wonder what you are doing up there? I miss you down here. How strange that amidst the snow, just now I look up and through my porch window I see a bright red cardinal (my mother's fave bird) seriously as I am typing, and now flown away. It is a reminder to me of something good. I don't know what it is, but tears come now along with a soft smile spreading because there seems to be something wonderful that I don't yet know. I don't know what I believe about people passed getting to check in or watch us, but I do know, I feel her, and at times like these when it happens at this exact moment, when I need it too, I almost think she is. Letting me know they've got him. Happy birthday my sweet MonkeyBear.
My mom's husband Jim has a sister named Mary. I haven't really gotten to see much of her since her son died and she moved. It has me reflecting on Mom's death as I know what surely her close family feels at this time. I pray for peace and comfort. I pray for her to have no pain. I hope that this transition to Heaven come swiftly for her. I thank God that we who believe do not die. Our bodies do, but our Spirits go home. Here was only temporary. It is the only home I have come to know, but deep inside, that God-shaped-hole reminds me there is somewhere different. Better. No more loss. All that seemed lost here, my loved ones, will be waiting for me there.... in my Savior's arms I shall weep no more, for I will have all I need.