Sunday, March 4, 2012

March the 4th

What a week!
Waiting.  Tender achy breasts, indigestion, bloated, cramping, tired, peeing all the time, and nauseous.... for daaaaaaaaaaaaaays!

I still kept having that sensation inside of me to yell victoriously that the Lord has given me a baby....  I fight that off as my carnal nature deems that illogical with no positive test yet and won't be seen till Tuesday the 6th...  I really believe this is it though.  I just believe.

It hit me as I was putting away dishes that this maybe is what God is telling me... to speak it!  To speak in faith that this is it.  That IS the definition of faith... not, "I hope so"... not "well, in God's timing"  OF COURSE EVERYTHING IS IN HIS TIMING, but we still speak in faith what is when it is yet unseen.  Jesus said in John 14:13, And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 

Heb 11:1
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen -KJV

So even though we pray that the Father's will be done, He also says doing what we ask brings glory to the father through the Son who will do it.  That means my faith can move this mountain. That is the kind of faith I need.  Not just the ho hum, well, do whatever you want God... Yes of course!  You are the Father and you know best!!!!! I love you, because you first loved me!  But our Father WANTS us to bring Him glory by asking and believing for things that come to pass!!!!  Therein lies testimony as well to unbelievers!  And to mustard seed faithed believers alike, the worn out, those like me who have been through the desert and need to know that there is somewhere in green grass I will someday lay beside still waters.

Maybe this is what God is trying to get through to me... I giggle to myself.  Thank you Lord!

I have said now almost a week that this is it... I know this is it.  I know it.  Thank you Father!  Thank you Jesus!!!!

This weekend I looked online to see how long it takes the HCG trigger shot to get out of your system... most every site, and almost every forum said that within 10 days HCG was out of the system, including the HCG manufacturers... and even very legitimate sites stating the 1000 i/u of HCG leaves your body a day... so it would still mean 10 days...

So I bought a pregnancy test... and it came with four friends.

Friday the pregnancy lines were very faint.  Two tests.  Both positive...  Thank YOU Lord I just know!  This is it!

Saturday one test taken.... Darker lines.  If it were the trigger shot causing it (for you skeptics out there), the lines would be getting lighter, not darker, Ha!

Sunday... two tests... neither taken in the morning and both after I had been peeing like a crazy person all afternoon and even darker positive... =)  today is day 13 after injection and I am just speaking in faith and believing this we have our little baby!  So is Jason... and we are so excited!  Although he made me promise to stop buying tests at home since I have doctors I am also paying to take tests...

I had a miscarriage though, and I had to keep taking tests to reassure me it wasn't going away because I knew something was wrong... and I was right... I miscarried in July....  this I confided to him... now he know why I always bought so many

He touched my face with the palm of his hand, and he said this baby is not going away.

And we pinky promised.

I can hardly wait for them to confirm what I already know on Tuesday!  I want to go buy more tests to keep seeing my positive till then, but a promise is a promise and I must be true.


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